Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
