I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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