I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
