Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
