so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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