I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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