You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
