I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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