In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
