Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
