You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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