i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
