i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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