I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just had sex bonerless
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
