my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
