i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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