Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dicks are not precious.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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