Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
