Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
