I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
