erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize