doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he thought i was a dude.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
