I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
