PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
