White coat. Heels.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
