Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
