where am i from again
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
