The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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