i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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