Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
