what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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