I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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