so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
