He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
