The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
