then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
