I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
