I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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