her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize