i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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