I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
