Its about making memories worth repressing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
