i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize