Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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