U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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