They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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