it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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