yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
