you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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