I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
