Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
