Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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