You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize