dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
