Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
