she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He better not be in your backpack
I just blew my weed a kiss
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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