We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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