Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
