awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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