I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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