your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
