Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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