Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
