dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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