He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
