So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
