I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize