I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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