My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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