She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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