one might say we're banned from that church
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
