I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
