Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
