Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
